I can't help myself, but I've been getting better with it, I just read Dustin's myspace blog and it was about his gf Emily and how much he loves her and how wonderful it is and all that. Now, I'm over the whole Dustin thing, but I can't help but feel a twinge of jealousy, 'cause how come this wonderfulness happens to everyone else but me? Ok, so I'm sure there are people out there who don't have it, but they have at one point or another...I suppose I did have that wonderfulness once, a long time ago...and I had it with Dustin himself, even...but that was short lived and now he feels that wonderfulness with someone else. Fine. I've dealt with that.
But SERRRRRRRRIOUSLY, when is it going to be my turn? Everyone has told me it'll happen for me...yeah well you people have been saying that for over 2 years now! lol...not to say I don't appreciate the positive thoughts or anything, but shit...I want something to happen...I think I've waited long enough, had enough heartbreak...I'm 22, going to be 23 this year and I can't remember the last time I went on a date. Most people my age go on dates ALL the time. Or at least have a boyfriend or girlfriend here and there. It's just very very sad and I can't help but think about it. All I do is go to work and go to school and come home and sit on my butt and play Warcraft....I don't know anybody around in the Antioch area and I don't even know what there is to do around here to even meet anyone...I'm not really a social butterfly either, which makes it hard to meet new people. Every now and then I'll go to the cafe or hang out with Jason or something like that, but sometimes not for 2 or 3 weeks...I'm so lonely =(
I'm excited to go to California for a few days, tho. That is something. Even if it's just to hang out with Jordan for a few days...get out of regular day repetitiveness and do something different. My sister mentioned something about a recreational co-ed volleyball team, which I would totally be up for, but she thinks it's not until the summer...I thought about joining a softball team, but when the fuck would I have time for practice and games? I need to work because I need money and the days I don't work I'm downtown at school...I just don't have time to do anything like that...work and school just totally dominates everything and it fucking sucks. The only day I have no work or school is Saturday. Sunday is shot out the window 'cause I work 9-5 and then I have to get to bed at a decent hour 'cause I have a full day of school on Monday's.
I have started hanging out with Dave Monday nights, which is good social interaction for me...lol...we started last week and we watched a few episodes of Lost before just crashing out 'cause it was already like 1 in the morning. I always enjoy hanging out with Dave, he's one of the few friends I have who actually keep in touch with me on a regular basis....so thanks Dave, for that. =)
Bah ok well since work is starting to slow down already, I'm going to jump at the chance to write up some papers for school and catch up on some reading and all that fun bullshit. God I can't wait to be done with fucking school. UGH!